How to Build a Healthy and Strong Relationship- Advice and 9 Tips
In this article, we’re going to be going over 10 tips on Building a Healthy and Strong Relationship. These are things that you can model yourself. These are things that successful, healthy, or strong relationships have in common, that you can look at and go, “Wow, if I do that, I will have a higher likelihood of having a successful healthy or strong relationship.”
This can be anything from dating a boyfriend/girlfriend. Marriage, all the way down to just your friends, your co-workers, even your neighbors is a broad spectrum of things. It’s just having a great, healthy, and strong relationship.
A lot of problems are caused simply because people do not know how to communicate how they feel, what they think, and what is causing the problem. If you get communication down, it’s the foundation for a great & healthy relationship.
I know a lot of people who are friends, but don’t feel comfortable telling each other how they feel, because of that, they have a very rocky & strong relationship. There’s not much content, there’s not much meat in the friendship. If one of them got in a car accident, they would show up to the hospital bed and they’d say, “If there’s anything I can do, I’ll do it for you,” but they won’t actually mean it. For instance, they wouldn’t actually scrub their feet.
That was a weird analogy, but you know what I mean. It’s not a deep meaningful & healthy relationship to me.
This is something that I’ve noticed in my life that is very difficult to do. There are a lot of people who struggle with forgiving someone or something. I actually wouldn’t suggest this, but you can do it if you want to. It is actually to make a mistake on purpose and then ask someone else for your forgiveness and in turn how they forgive you can determine the quality of the relationship.
So, it’s completely ambiguous. I wouldn’t do anything major, but as long as you understand that your friend, your spouse, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whoever you’re living with can forgive you, that’s going to be a quality of a great, healthy, or strong relationship . You in turn can do that yourself. You can forgive people for what they have done and it’s actual forgiveness, not just saying that you apologized. Forgiveness is like, “I actually forgive you and bless you.”
When you understand the person and how they feel, it comes a lot easier to forgive them. Now understanding is really difficult. I don’t want to be real cheesy about it, but you have to have a big heart, have to have the openness to want to understand someone else in their situation. The empathy and the sympathy to know how someone else feels and understanding their situation that they may not have had the out to get you kind of thinking, but something bad happens and that understanding will lead to forgiveness. Over time understanding them, they will be more likely to be open to understanding you.
Understand the Five Love Languages
If you’ve ever read the book ‘The Five Love Languages,’ you will start to understand that loving someone it not passive, it’s active.
Actively loving someone is knowing the difference between giving a friend a gift every week compared to the friend who will feel loved even more if you spend 30 minutes with them every day. The five love languages you read from this book are words of affirmation, service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
You might have a mix of those love languages. One of those would super important to you. You just have to understand yourself and you also have to understand the person that you’re with. . When you start deconstructing the relationships that you have built in your life and find out what their love languages or what their priorities are, then you can start to have a better, healthy, and strong relationship in terms of how you form your habits.
Now, this is a big one and I’ve actually had some struggle with this among some of my friends, because they’ll go out and do things and it’s hard for me to respect them through their actions, but I can tell you that the friends I do respect, I have a great, healthy, and strong relationship with.
I look up to them. I think, “Wow, that’s a great quality that I think you have and I would like to have that.” It involves respecting them, understanding that they’re not below you, that they are with you. Sometimes, when you start to look down on people, you start to not respect them as much because you feel like they’re undervalued.
Appreciate Each Other
Appreciation can go from anything all the way back to the five love languages. To say, “I appreciate you, let’s spend 30 minutes together watching the sunset. I appreciate you, I wrote you a little note when I thought of you. Here’s a small gift when I was on vacation.” Just appreciating them by telling them vocally, “Hey I appreciate that you’re in my life,” shows someone how loved they are and appreciated.
Us vs the Problem
Look at situations, not in terms of “It’s me versus you.” This can become a “It is us versus the problem.” People can start to attack each other and attack each other’s personal qualities and that’s the problem in the first place. If people would just join together and realize, “It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault, it’s both of our faults. What can we do to solve this problem?” That realization will solve the problem.
So, many relationship problems can be solved by just coming at it together as a team, whether that’s a marriage team or a boyfriend/girlfriend team, or even you and your friend. If you guys just start looking at problems and bicker in agreement that you guys are bickering about something, you guys can solve the problem together.
Honesty Comes First
There are a lot of times in my life where I can look back and go, ‘Man, it was really easy to lie,” but when it comes down to it, friendships and great/healthy/strong relationships are for the long term.
So, if you want a short term relationship, go ahead and lie, but if you would be honest, even if you are honest first without going through a bunch of loopholes, that friend will start to respect you more. They will understand you more. You will start to have better communication with them.
It’s just a another great foundation for a habit of a great, healthy, or strong relationship is to be honest in the first place. If you don’t feel comfortable being honest to a person, there might be some psychological abuse or something else going on that is making that relationship unsteady. You would probably want to get away from that.
Make Time for Each Other
I struggle with this and I think a lot of entrepreneurs might struggle with this in regards to being in a relationship, specifically, because they love to work. I’m almost like a workaholic. I love working. Something about me in particular is that I don’t want to spend my time doing meaningless things.
So, I look at things and I value my time really highly. Sometimes, if I’m just out with my girlfriend and we’re not having a great time, I almost start to look down upon that, because I was like, “I could be making five or ten thousand more dollars a month if I spent that time on the business.” However, I also look at the relationship point of view and I think to myself, “You know, this relationship is a great thing in my life. If I didn’t have it, I might not want to work as hard.”
So, that’s something that you’ve got to balance and you’ve got to be self-aware of to understand what percent of your life you want to work and what percent of your life you want to be actually part of your life. The entrepreneur part of that is where can you mesh those.
Laugh a Lot
There are a ton of psychological benefits to laughing or smiling a lot. There are some people that when I’m around, I literally just feel more charismatic and it’s not even me that has changed, it’s them. It’s the people that I’m around. They make me feel more charismatic and happy.
They make me feel like it’s okay to laugh and it’s okay to be myself. If you can surround yourself with people like that, that’s another great habit to form in a great relationship.