The POWER of CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE | 7 TIPS
Body language does not only affect how others perceive you, but also how you see yourself. There are already many articles on body language out there and most of it seems pretty obvious anyway and that’s why I only want to explain some of the basics which you should be aware of.
Have you ever felt that someone had this charismatic presence when they enter the room? Even though they might not necessarily be the tallest, best-looking, or strongest people around, they definitely possess something powerful. First of all, you will notice their open body language.
This means not crossing your arms and legs at the same time, and having your shoulders relaxed, but slightly retracted to show more of your chest and stomach. In nature, this signals that you are fearless and friendly in some cases as you present all neural parts of your body. Also, you wouldn’t really seem trustworthy if you had your hands in your pockets all the time or not revealing your palms. You also want to appear taller. No problem! Just stand straight.
This can easily be done by slightly flexing your glutes and stomach while having your chin in and up about parallel to the floor. Plus, you don’t look like you’re hiding something. Furthermore, people today have forward head pushed and rounded shoulders from sitting all day and this makes you look really weak. There are many exercises online to revise that. So, go on and fix your posture and you will soon notice a huge difference in your appearance.
Another bad habit is fidgeting. Keep your arms relaxed at your sides when you stand on a table or when you sit. This goes along with jumping from one leg to another all the time, which makes you appear really nervous. The calmer you are, the more confident you will feel. In general, your feet should face the person you’re talking to you. Otherwise, you look like you would rather want to leave.
Research done by Amy Cuddy and in collaboration with Dana Carney has shown that adopting the body language associated with dominance for just two minutes is enough to create a 20% increase in testosterone and a 25% decrease in a stress hormone cortisol. In other words, adopting these open postures make a person feel more powerful.
Of course, standing strong and open takes more space than hunting in a corner and that is also something you should not be afraid of. Don’t hesitate to use wider gestures when you speak and take some space when you walk, with about shoulder wide steps. I’m not saying be a douche-bag and bump into people, but be sure about the direction you’re going and don’t jump out of people’s way. In unknown environments, you might feel a bit intimidated to take your space, but think back on how you would say to a stand if it was in your own house together with your best friend.
For example-every time people stand quite close to each other in the elevator, it seems that nobody wants to breathe until the door is open. I can see that everyone else experienced the same and have to smile. Funny how a situation actually is and I immediately feel the difference realizing that we’re all in the same boat and taking deep breaths works wonders. I used to do this in a club or before entering a room full of strangers. I’m pretty sure most of you guys have done it already, especially before an exam or public speaking.
The key that makes the difference between being a douche and likable and confident is a genuine smile. You don’t have to have perfect teeth to show them, but taking care of them definitely doesn’t hurt. Science is proving that there are countless variations of smiles, but the one you should be going for will naturally come to you, if you get interested in other people and try to see strangers as friends.
Even before you actually get to know them, only then you won’t give them your classical fake good morning dear colleagues at work smile and don’t underestimate the effect of a friendly smile. It will brighten other people’s day and yours in return.
Next up on the list is about how you can make an amazing first impression, which is eye contact. Business people from Europe, the U.S., Australia, and other parts of the world expect you to maintain eye contact around 50 to 60 percent of your conversation. If you feel uncomfortable holding it, you can focus on the nose right between their eyes.
They really won’t notice the difference and when you break eye contact, look to the side rather than down. Looking down stigmas lower status, shame, and even submission. Here is a simple technique to improve your eye contact. Whenever you greet someone, look into his or her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.
Talking about facial expressions, know what your standard face looks like. This is the face that most people see when you’re looking at them, listening to them, or just talking in general. You mostly show your default face when you’re in your head and on autopilot. This can appear stiff and unfriendly. So again, relax and get yourself in a good mood.
In other words, smiling helps. This was my short summary of the most important confident body language tips. Actually plan to do more detail guides in the future and just let me know in the comments below if you want me to focus on a specific aspect of it.